Make-Up, the evil plot to exploit women and separate us from our money

I know! Outrageous and inflammatory title huh? But seriously! I have discovered a secret and nefarious conspiracy to separate me from my Filofax funding money, and make me damned uncomfortable in the process! It has been carefully crafted through the years by the same villainous bastards who invented the corset (le gasp), high heels,  and the brassiere. (Ok, I actually need the bra to keep me from knocking into stuff, but I still hate wearing it!)

So here's how I discovered this vile plot:  I wore make-up yesterday, not because I wanted to, because--let's be brutally honest here--why would I want to? Ever? So why did I do it? To please others. Yep. *hanging head in shame* You see, I wanted to post a couple of videos to YouTube, and since make up does actually make me look marginally presentable, I figured it would be a good idea to put some on so that I wouldn't scare the crap out of would look better on video for my viewers; you know, all 2 of 'em.  Here's the problem: Today, my eyes hurt like hell and they are watering prolifically, making it difficult and painful to see. (I've grown fond of seeing, so this is really problematic for me) Now, I am not allergic to any of the makeup I currently use or anything, it's just that when I wear it, my skin and my eyes feel like crap, and the next day? Les Miserables x 10! So why in the holy hell do I do this to myself? You would think I'd be old enough (WAY old enough *sniff sniff*) to bloody know better!

**RANT ALERT**

One of the brilliant things about turning 40, (and soon, too soon, 41) is that I care less and less about what other people think about me. Not that I don't enjoy a well-placed compliment, or kudos where they are due, I just quit caring so much about trying to please other people. There are a certain amount of people in this life who are gonna like you, and a whole whack of people who don't, and an even bigger whack of people who simply don't give a damn. Plus, I'd really rather be judged based on my "actual value" rather than my "perceived value". Now, this may be the reason (or just one of a gazillion) that I am still single, but that doesn't bother me like it did when I was young either. (Although, upon further reflection, maybe it's because I forget shit at a much more rapid rate than I did when I was younger. I don't know, I forget...)

Now, what was my point? Oh yeah! An evil, must wear makeup to appear in public, brassiere inventing, high heel promoting, torture yourself to please other people, pernicious plot to overthrow a woman's true inner beauty, and exchange it for pseudo-beauty at any physical cost. (When you eat into my Filofax budget buddy, AND make me feel like crap in the process, you're on thin ice)

I could try to blame it on men--because it's so fantasmically easy to blame stuff on them--but really? I don't even think that they give a rats rear about all that stuff, to be honest.  Face it, they either want to see a woman nekked, or they want a sandwich--and they're not the ones buying the fashion magazines. It's WOMEN!! So make-up can kiss my huge butt, I'm not wearing it any more. And ladies, if you don't like me because of that, I'll miss you!

There! You can bow down to me in undying devotion thank me in the comment section for unveiling this dastardly plot and sharing it with you so that you no longer have to be enslaved if you don't wish to be. You're welcome, I love you, and you look beautiful without make up, because clean skin is dead sexy!!